The Count Down Begins......NOW

As I sit soaking in the happenings of 2011, I realize it's almost been 14 years of being a homemaker and mom of 4. It's been eventful all on its own. I have always enjoyed having the opportunity to stay at home with our children. I have spent much of these years inventing new ways to make money, trying to contribute monetarily to the house hold while our children are still at home. Mostly out of my own guilt of not providing. (silly, I know)

I was watching a commercial for something yesterday, (which I can't recall what it was now), but it rang a bell. So here I sit with an internal revelation. My motivation to make money wasn't guilt for not providing. My guilt was within myself, I was putting myself aside and the things I enjoyed, feeling internally bored is something I don't come to terms with. I had to make use of myself and in turn my best solution to stay busy was to turn the hobbies I had into income. Believe me, it wasn't easy to figure out the selling things part, but I tried several options. I aimed for the "first sale" satisfaction. That was my goal. Then it moved on to the "If I could just earn enough to pay the electric bill that would be awesome" phase.  The money I earned made me so proud of myself and happy that I accomplished something other than cleaning and changing diapers. Then I had 2 more babies to care for and I put the "me stuff" to the side once again.

After a short time I was searching and wishing I could find some way to work from home and fulfill my internal boredom. My very observant husband did the unthinkable and invested money into a business opportunity for me. He had faith that this adventure would bring me joy and wanted me to feel fulfilled. He also suggested that any money I made not be spent to pay bills. Rather invest, save or just enjoy it. I was blessed with a supportive husband and a company I called KMV Embroidery & Design. I loved it. I was blessed with beautiful children, caring husband and the me fulfillment I searched for. Over four years, I continued to work from home while enjoying my children and they even learned the craft of embroidery.

One year ago, I decided that being a mom was my best and only option and our lives were full enough that the boredom I once felt, I don't recognize anymore. I referred my customers to other businesses, (made me cry) and covered up my machine. I closed that door. This is where the question lingers.......

The COUNT DOWN begins.......I have exactly 20 months to figure out if that door will reopen or if I will move in a different direction. In the next 20 short months, I will be sending my last baby to school full time and as well as I know myself the search for internal fulfillment will begin. I don't want to wait until that day comes to decide. I want to have a plan. A plan that will begin when they step on that bus. However, my first goal may be to enjoy the quite. I will keep you posted.

LET THE COUNT DOWN BEGIN!